Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been a numbers gal. I always excelled in math as a child and honestly, I think my friends were all surprised I never pursued something in that field of study. I was also a naturally frugal gal, picking up frugality from parents, grandparents, and those I met along the way.
In my first weekend of my freshman year of college, I met my now husband. We were 18 & 19 and fell hard. He was raised by two CPAs, so he had a great sense of financial literacy and was a natural saver as well. Some of our dates in college consisted of walking to a local gas station and getting polar pops and breadsticks and cheese on “breadstick Tuesdays!” Our total date cost was under $4 for two orders of breadsticks and two sodas! Score.
From the early days of our marriage, we wanted finances to never be an issue for us. We took Financial Peace University in the first few months of our marriage and whether or not we agreed with everything, it got us talking. We paid off what was left of my student loans shortly after we got married and started our marriage, freshly debt free.
We now have 4 beautiful kids, a house, a dog, and thankfully, a lot of the same principles we started with. I’m thankful for our journey and feel it’s a gift to share with you some of what we’ve learned. Here are my top 7 things that have helped us along our journey.
1. Money is important, but not the most important.
You know what’s more important than money? Family. Friends. Faith. Giving of your time, talents, and resources. Choosing joy. Finding peace. Having a roof over your head. Having food on the table. Having good coffee.
By all means, be frugal, set goals, and save. But also, live and give freely.
2. Make the best money choices you can, as early as you can.
For Dan and me, getting married young, being debt free, and starting our married life on the right trajectory was so important. Our first 4 years of marriage, before we had kids, we both worked, saved, and gave a lot. Those early years set us up so that if we never saved another dime, we’d still retire well at age 65 (thanks to compound interest).
But those early years also taught us to go without. We’ve never had cable tv, never had a car payment, never paid for monthly tv or movie subscriptions, rarely eat or order out, and mostly go on budget vacations. Our first year of marriage, I was the breadwinner as my husband moved to a new city and job searched. As a result, we got very used to one income, which made it easy to save a ton when he got his first full-time job. It also made it much easier to switch back to just one-income when we had our third child, knowing what that felt like from a few years prior.
Start early. If you haven’t started yet, start today. Compound interest is your friend. Do enough things right now and later, you won’t have to worry.
3. TEAM – Together Everyone Achieves More.
Remember that old slogan from gym class? Well, it’s true when it comes to finances too.Working together toward shared goals is way more satisfying that doing it alone. Talk to your spouse or partner. Get on the same page. Come up with some next steps. And then get excited about achieving them together. Achieving long-term goals alone takes a lot more perseverance and patience, but dreaming and planning together never gets old.
4. You will never regret what you generously gave.
I’ve never looked back and thought, “Man, I wish we wouldn’t have given so much!” I’ve definitely looked back and thought, I should have been more giving in a certain instance. Life is meant to be lived. Give of your time, talents, and resources. Don’t expect anything in return. Give money anonymously. Help someone out. Donate to your favorite charity with that bonus. Adopt a family and give away presents for Christmas. And then teach your kids to do the same. You’ll never regret that $50 you gave away to someone in need, but you might miss an opportunity to be a blessing to someone else if you say no.
5. Ride the waves.
In life and in finance, there will inevitably be seasons where everything falls apart and other seasons where success seems to just keep coming. Try to view each season for the blessings it brings and realize it will not be forever.
We had a year where we replaced our fence, our skylight, an exterior door of our house, and had a dishwasher stop working all within a span of a few months! We’ve all been there where it just seems like nothing can go right (thank goodness for emergency funds, right?). We’ve also had months where an unexpected bonus came in or a bill was less than anticipated and we were able to give or save a little more. Ride the waves and see the good in the midst of whichever season you find yourself in now.
6. Don’t compare.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison also doesn’t take into consideration your financial goals or your journey. If you want to retire at age 50 and your neighbor is going to work until they’re 75, you’ll be able to afford different lifestyles. People’s lives never tell the true story, so stop comparing your life to theirs. Instead, fall in love with the life you have.
I’ll never forget a conversation with a friend. I had started to compare certain aspects of my life to hers and when we began talking, I realized she may have more flashy things, but she also had a car payment, credit card debt, and student loans. She was affording her life on borrowed money.
Stop comparing and start enjoying the life you’ve been given. It may be more frugal. It may be more home cooked meals. But life is a gift. Don’t let comparison take any more of your time.
7. Stop going to Target just to “Walk Around.”
This one is the most personal for me. Earlier in our marriage before I had kids, I would spend hour chunks of time just wandering through Target or Marshalls or wherever, just browsing for nothing in particular. My “nothing in particular” shopping would often turn into $50, sometimes less, sometimes more. Each time I did this, I would enjoy whatever I bought for a bit, but then eventually realize that what I had bought was unnecessary or a waste of money. Now don’t hear me wrong, it’s okay to splurge when you have something in mind and have the money for it. But I was just buying things because I saw them. I’ve saved money recently by only going out shopping for something when I have something in mind. Maybe you needed to hear this too.
So what’s something you’ve learned along the way? I certainly don’t have it all figured out, but I am thrilled at the lessons I’ve learned along our journey.
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