Raising Thankful Kids

November is here, which means Thanksgiving is right around the corner. This time of year for a lot of kids means making Christmas lists, being bombarded with toys, candy, and gifts from relatives and friends. All of the commercialization of the holidays leads our kids to believe the holidays are all about them! As my husband and I raise our kids, we, of course, want them to have fun at the holidays. But we also want them to be grateful, not expect gifts and toys, and look for ways to serve, give, and find joy in presence this holiday season. Raising thankful kids can be tough in a consumer culture, but here are 3 ways to help our kids move from consumers to stewards this holiday season.

3 Ways to Raise Thankful Kids

1. Model thankfulness. “More is caught than taught.” If you are making Christmas lists, bombarding your kids with toys, or talking about the holidays in light of presents, you kids will pick up on it. Instead, try serving at a local soup kitchen together, driving around to look at Christmas lights, and talking about things you’re most thankful for. Sometimes my kids give me a glimpse of my own attitude based on their behavior. They’re always watching, listening, and modeling our behaviors. Take a look at what your kids value and hold in high esteem. It may be a reflection of your own values. If it concerns you to see what your kids are valuing, try doing some self-reflection. If you begin to model more gratefulness, humility, love, and charity, my guess is they’ll pick up on it.
2. Instead of a Christmas list, come up with a list of ways you can give to others this holiday season. A few of our own ideas include: Operation Christmas Child, baking cookies to give away to neighbors/friends, handmade gifts/crafts for others, coat drive for the underprivileged, and writing cards to bless widows, elderly, and those we are thankful for. Involve your kids to help you come up with creative ways to bless others. I’m excited to spur my kids on to think of others before themselves this holiday season.
3. Don’t get them everything they want! Yes, this seems counter intuitive but hear me out. Everyday, we are teaching our kids how to steward. We teach them how to be a good steward of their bodies by providing nourishing food options. We teach them how to be good stewards of their money through modeling saving, giving, spending, and investing. We teach them how to be good stewards of their time by how we spend our time. We teach them how to steward their lives, using their gifts and abilities to do good in the world. We also teach them how to steward through our relationships with our stuff. I have one daughter who is asking for another Barbie for Christmas this year (even though she was advised not to make a Christmas list… can’t win all the battles). She already has 6! 6! Now, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with getting a Barbie and new accessories. But if we allow our kids to get everything they want, we are feeding the narrative that tells them “Christmas is about YOU.” And it’s NOT! We will be keeping things simple this year and asking family members to do the same. Our kids have more than they need already and we want to make this Christmas about more than ourselves. We have more blessings than we deserve (and have more toys than we need), so let’s lean into gratefulness during the holidays.

Raising thankful kids is about modeling, making different lists, and learning to be grateful for the gifts you already have. Finally, don’t go into debt to provide Christmas for your kids! Keep those budgets in check so you can have a guilt-free, fun, joy-filled season that doesn’t haunt you for the year to come.