Recently I read a book that really challenged my thinking about my needs and desires. The book suggested an activity where both spouses make a list of 10 things that make them the happiest on a weekly basis. If a weekly basis is too narrow, you can open it up to a month. However, the goal is to think of the things that bring you the most joy, most often. Dan and I did this activity one night after kids’ bedtime routines and shared our lists with each other.
Some of the things that appeared on our lists were things like being active and watching our kids sing/dance. We also enjoy being active in our faith and community, spending time just the two of us, and good coffee and ice cream. What surprised me most about this activity was that, in general, the things that bring us the most joy the most often are things money can’t buy. Of course, ice cream and coffee cost something, but walks around the neighborhood, tucking our kids in with our nightly routine, and spending time together on a regular basis are all things that are completely free.
I want to encourage you to find a time in the next week to do this activity with your spouse. Maybe text them right now with the prompt. “Write down a list of 10 things you most enjoy doing (or make you the happiest) on a weekly basis. Let’s chat about them tonight.” When you come together, you too might be surprised how many of the things have nothing to do with spending.
With this activity in mind, take a look at your budget again. Does your budget reflect the things that bring you the most joy? If not, why not? How could you tweak to begin budgeting for maximum happiness?
Maybe some of the things on your list do require money. Great. Keep those in your budget and continue to make them a priority. Maybe that gym membership or weekly date night at a restaurant are sacred and need a place in your budget. But, if you, like me, find yourself staring at a list of the things that make you the happiest and pretty much none of them require any real money, it might be time to adjust your budget accordingly.
Our Budget for Maximum Happiness
Over the years, we’ve started budgeting for maximum happiness. We’re always tweaking, but here are a few of the things we’ve changed.
We rarely do date nights out anymore. If we have a gift card or it’s a special occasion, we’ll go out, but we much prefer a simple air-popped popcorn and movie at home. Once the kids have gone to bed, we enjoy time together rather than expensive dinners in crowded environments.
I used to think a fun treat for our kids was going out for ice cream. We still do this on occasion, but more often than not, we treat our kids through adventure. Some of our go-tos are going to a park, for a family walk, or hike. Lately, we take advantage of free admission days at science museums or the zoo (with our membership), but we rarely pay to “treat” our kids.
As much as it pains me to say this, iced coffee season can happen at home. I love sweet and creamy iced coffees in the summer. Hot, black coffee does not appeal to me when the sun is shining. I just can’t. But, I used to treat myself, more often than necessary, because I felt like it was relatively cheap, convenient, and the coffee shops had the right tools. The past few years, I have just kept a pitcher of iced coffee in the fridge at all times during the summer months. This summer, I have yet to grab an iced coffee out. I have the creamers I like and even some syrups if I’m feeling fancy. Truly, I can make delicious iced coffee at home. When friends come over to play, it’s fun to say, “I have iced coffee if you’d like some while we chat.”
We love Jesus, giving, serving, family, and saving. I think if you took a look at our budget, these values would be reflected. When I look at our budget, I want who we are and what we stand for to be reflected in those numbers. If you’re still getting on board with budgeting, be sure to check out the resources on budgeting as well.
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